Discover 5 common reasons why your child refuses to use the potty and practical solutions to help them overcome the challenges. Expert tips for stress-free potty training.
Potty training is a big milestone, yet it does not always work out as well as parents wish it to. Not all children are receptive to the process, and refusing to use the potty may become a routine thing. Although such resistance can be cumbersome, it does not mean that something serious is happening. In the majority of instances, the unwillingness is the result of universal development, emotional, or physical reasons. It can help to know what may be going on and how to react with patience and strategy.
The potty is new and scary to a lot of children. Even its size, shape, or the manner it is flushed can provoke concern. Others might even dread that they might trip and lose their balance after they sit down. This worry usually makes them reserve themselves, such as when they are aware of what the potty is used for.
The answer to this is to show the child that the potty is safe and friendly. Fears can be alleviated by using a smaller training chair as opposed to a full-size toilet. It also helps to have the potty in a convenient, comfortable position. Reading picture books during potty time or singing songs can alleviate the anxiety levels and, over time, change the fear into familiarity.
Potty training is also one of the initial areas where a child comes to understand that they have a voice. They are free to go to the bathroom, unlike eating or sleeping. Refusal is one of the methods that some children adopt to show independence. Although such behavior may be frustrating to parents, it is also an indication that the child is starting to define autonomy.
Rather than making the process a kind of power struggle, choices should be presented to the children to make them feel that they have control over the process without stopping it. When they are allowed to choose which potty chair they want to sit on or what book they want to read at the same time, or even which sticker to gain after they are through, they feel empowered. It is best to frame the routine as a team effort, not a struggle, and this will usually result in less resistance.
There are cases when the rejection has physical grounds. When a child learns to relate the potty to pain, be it during constipation or sitting pain, avoidance is an automatic reaction. Children can either cross their legs, wait, or conceal themselves instead of experiencing discomfort when they are provided with a diaper. Their position may also be made comfortable by having a footstool to prop their legs on the toilet. The child will relax and cooperate more when they become aware that using the potty does not hurt.
In some instances, a child may withhold through conscious retention of urine or feces. This may be a loop of unease and opposition. If a parent observes that my toddler is holding her pee while potty training, there may be an underlying issue causing the bad habit. This habit is usually caused by fear of potty, discomfort that occurred before, or even the desire to be in control. Unluckily, withholding may cause increasing pain, which in turn strengthens the cycle. It takes time and encouragement to get out of this pattern. It is important to encourage frequent use of the potty, reward small achievements, and not punish. The establishment of a stress-free atmosphere is beneficial to make the child believe in the process. In case withholding is acute or chronic, having a pediatrician is the sure way of making sure that there is no underlying medical problem to play.
There are cases when resistance does not imply fear and control, as well as discomfort. A child can just not be ready. The developmental readiness is also highly differentiated, and some children take a longer time than others to show interest or consistency. Rushed prematurely, there is usually one thing waiting, and it is refusal. You can look for anticipation signs to drive the process.
The rejection is typically associated with typical developmental challenges and not severe issues. There is fear, control, discomfort, withholding, and readiness. Both have remedies that are based on patience, assurance, and a professional attitude. With the identification of the underlying problem and modifications of strategies, the process will be less stressful and more successful. Most children eventually overcome resistance and acquire confidence in this new phase of independence.
Sources:
https://health.ucdavis.edu/children/patient-education/potty-training-children
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